Nobody Understands Me
by red-and-reckless
Summary: TMNT 2012 - Set after Turtle Temper; Raph is convinced that he isn't loved any longer.


**Nobody Understands Me.**  
**One-Shot.**  
**2012 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.**

**Rating: M**  
**Warning: Violence/Gore.**

Thunder rolled and lightening crashed. Perfect weather for the events, thoughts, and despair that were to occur on this very sadistic day. Night had swallowed the bright joy of the previous day; reverting it into night. Dead stars shined, but not lighting up the sky. It was rather silent in the Lair. Not a soul or being moved. The TV was turned off, the only lights on glowing dim. Everything - mutant and human - were supposedly resting in their own rooms. Except for one. In a certain room, the most fearless and vicious out of the mutants, the Turtles, was located in that room.

The hotheaded teenager was curled up in the fetal position in one corner of said room, agonized neon green hues slowly leaking out dreadful tears that slipped slowly down his face. The same harsh words played again and again in his mind; taunting him. Hurting him. Agonizing him. A soft sob left his lips, which was oh so unusual for the red masked ninja. Young, reckless, and angry, Raphael was now lost. Distraught. Broken... Yet, even if he was out of character, he had reasons. Reasons that couldn't stop ringing and reverberating in his subconscious.

_"And you're always whining. 'Poor me. Nobody understands me.' "_

That struck his anger, causing him to grit his teeth and erode them together in a grinding motion of pure infuriating power. Narrowing his hues, the motion caused more tears to slip down his cheeks again and his fists to clench on his shoulders were they had been resting; yet tensed up. Leonardo. He didn't give a damn about him; nor did Michelangelo or Donatello. They caused him this agony... And they enjoyed it.

Leo stared at the ceiling in his room. He never really thought about it, but this team needed Raph. Even if he was hotheaded, they completely failed without him today. He thought about the situation with the arrows and the insults. Perhaps he has been a bit harsh...And after he mocked Raph, what had he said? "We'll, maybe you don't understand me!" He was mad at them, they were jerks, and he still came to help. And Leo wasn't sure if any of them had said thank you, or even told him that he was important and helpful. Thinking back, he was sure they hadn't, and he was also sure that they should. Stretching, he sat up on his bed, getting up to see if his brother was still awake.

The sobs increased even more. What did he have to even live for anymore? His three siblings hated his guts just for being himself. And he knew he could change to meet their needs. To make them accept him. To make them love him. Reopening his stunning and paralyzing hues, the angry and broken tears fell faster. Letting his legs stretch out in front of him, he took out one of his twin Sai. Clutching it harshly, his vision was blurry with tears once more. Holding it in front of his face, he forced the tears out of the way and sniffed. His chosen weapon gleamed beautifully in the dim light.

A couple more sobs left his lips. He drew the weapon he came to know closer to his neck. If his brothers and father did not love or like him... He'd terminate himself for their enjoyment. They had let on that they had said those things to punish him. But they didn't. They loathed him. Soon, the sharpest part of his Sai touched the far side of his neck on the left. It pierced his sensitive skin, blood emerging from his veins. Dragging it along his neck, the blood flow increased as he reached the complete other side of his neck. By then, the crimson flowed. He snarled and gritted his teeth harder, the tears falling faster and faster. Opening his eyes slightly, the bright and dazzling neon green color of his eyes faded slightly; dulling. Crying out in pain, the last thing that he saw was his wall, with a picture of him, his brothers, Spike, April, and Master Splinter. Happy. Smiling. Joy. Neither pain nor suffering in that picture. The life faded from his body. Taking one last breath... Then darkness.

Leo knocked on his brother's door, trying not to awaken him if he was asleep. No one answered, but the door opened on its own. Leo stepped into the dark room, unable to see more than two feet in front of his face. He tripped over something left on the ground and picked it up in irritation. "Why can't he just clean-" he paused, staring at the Sai in his hand. The Sai with blood dripping off of it. And in that second, he knew what happened. Standing up, he grabbed onto Raph's desk to steady himself, hoping beyond hope that his thoughts wouldn't be true.

In doing so, he it Spike, who was hiding in his shell as if he knew something bad had happened. Crawling back to the door, Leo turned the light on and instantly wished he hadn't. Covered in the blood he loved to spill, his mask stained with its own color, was his brother, a thin cut bleeding on his neck. "No..." He whispered. "NO! NO! RAPH!" Leo could hear the others waking, and he didn't wait for them to see what happened. He threw himself at his brother's body, grabbing him and sobbing into his shoulder. "Wake up! Raph, come on, wake up! Donnie will help you; he'll fix you, just wake up!" He screamed, clutching onto his brother, his best friend, who he would never fight with again. "Just...wake up." He then resulted into a series of sobs, the tears falling fast and raking his body; causing it to tremble.

Raphael, of course, couldn't hear him. He was dead. Gone. His lifeless eyes stared back at Leo, their piercing green color still there.

Leo held onto Raph, listening to his family come in. "Leonardo, is everything-" Master Splinter's voice was cut off by April's gasp. The teenage girl covered her mouth, the tears emerging and slipping down her cheeks. A second later, Mikey spoke, yawning. "Hey guys, what are we all awake for?" Leo listened to them, and he could play out what was happening like he was watching it. Mikey's strangled gasp as he followed their gazes, Donnie gasping and covering his baby brother's eyes, leading Mikey away from the blood. A second later, Mikey's scream sounded. "RAPH!" Leo wasn't even shocked when an orange blur pushed past him and grabbed Raph. The youngest turtle was sobbing harder than Leo had. Or maybe Leo imagined it. A hand on his shoulder made Leo look up into his Sensei's eyes, filled with the memory of his wife and child, and back into his year younger brother's blank green ones.


End file.
